Point the way

The return of religion

2009-12-20T17:45:00.001-08:00

Christmas seems to brings up the topic of "why don't you go to church" more than any other time of year. Well, you will be happy to know that we have started going to church recently. Its a rather large church for our area, which at first put me off due to my history at a large-ish church. I will say, I am impressed. The girls love it. Doug hasn't complained about the worship portion of the service (which is his usual vice). And me? Could it be that I actually like it?? I will admit, we have only attended 4 times total. But for the first time in a long time I don't feel angry when the sermon is over.

I will say, I do like the pastors there. The first sermon we heard there was about the signs of the end-times. This is one topic that bothers me because of the stance that most sermons take and my immediate reactions was negative. I was surprised though when the message went something along the lines of: The signs that God gave us to warn of the end days are very general. They have always been happening and will continue to happen. (Well, duh, that is exactly what I have always thought) God wants us to always be prepared for the second coming, so he gave us very general guidelines to determine when that will happen so that everyone will be ready. I had to say, I was shocked! For once, it wasn't a prediction of our time left or declaration that the second coming is imminent. It was realistic. Haven't pastors for centuries been preaching that the end is near. And it hasn't happened yet, right?

Today's sermon was lost on me, however, for various reasons. The pastor was talking about angels and was listing movies that have angels in them. When he got to Dogma I lost it. Then Doug made some comment about the passage in Luke when Elizibeth meets Mary and her baby leaps in her womb - somehow he read that as she suddenly became 6 months pregnant and said "ow". Another giggle fit. And then I missed most of the post-sermon activities (offering, communion, etc) due to sudden blood-sugar issues, but thats another post.

I would like to and plan to continue attending. Who knows, maybe I can find my faith, or at least part of it, again.

Gotta Dance!

2009-12-20T17:02:00.000-08:00

My daughter, Sarah, is in her second year of dance. This last weekend was her Holiday recital.

This was her main performance - I think the song was called "Tra la la"

About half-way through the recital, Santa made an appearance. I wish I had my camera ready when he did, because Sarah, from the other side of the gymnasium, stood up and yelled "Mom! I can't believe Santa came here to watch ME dance!" There was laughter all around and all I could think was "oh boy, here we go".

Then there was the finale - my camera had a hiccup, so the first little bit didn't get taped.

Did you see that last bit? What a diva!

And then there were the group photos afterwards.

At first she was good...

Then she saw me...

And then she got creative...

She is only 4. Where does she learn these things?! I'm afraid we are in for a very interesting time these next 14 years.

It's been a long time.

2009-03-26T17:54:00.000-07:00

Monkey see...

2008-09-30T15:40:00.000-07:00

They say that mimicry is the best form of flattery. That is unless its your kids mimicking the not so good things. Like when Zoe starts shushing Sarah when she whines (cute, but it really annoys Sarah). Or the way she crosses her arms like me when we were walking around the furniture store. I was doing it because I was irritated with Doug's lack of parenting. Still cute on her though.

My latest look in the mirror that wasn't so cute was when Sarah dropped the big "J.C." after I was scolding her for taking Zoe's toy. I know I say this when I'm frustrated; when I've had enough. I just didn't realize how much I said it or how much Sarah was listening when I did. I've made a point not to say this in front of most people as I know it is offensive to them. Its sown-right vulgar to hear a little girl like Sarah say that with such vehemence, I never even thought it might sound the same way from me until now.

What other habits to I need to correct before they become an ugly habit of my daughters?

What a pain in the...

2008-09-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

Back.

Literally.

I have had problems with lower back and nerve pain since I had Sarah. It got much worse after having Zoe and make doing even the simplest of tasks difficult, if not impossible. I've tried pain medication (of the over the counter sort) which did absolutely nothing. I've been to a Chiropractor, which helped the upper back pain I was having from preganancy and carrying babies, but not the lower back pain. The doc even tried electro-stimulation, but that did nothing. I've tried hot pads. Now I'm trying excersize. I'm afraid that if this doesn't work, I may be stuck. Again...literally.

The worst thing about it is that I never know what will set it off. Vacuuming is a for sure way to end up in pain for the next 6-8 hours. But sometimes its as simple as moving the laundry from washer to drier. Or standing still for just a few minutes. Or sitting at my desk. Its seems to me, it could be anything and everything that makes the pain rev up. There is always a dull ache present to remind me that it could always get worse.

I fear I may be shelling out the cash for an MRI by spring if this doesn't get better soon. And that is a whole different kind of pain.

Question: Why I don't have girlfriends?

2008-09-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

Answer: Because most women are still stuck in Jr. High School when it comes to social interaction.

Example 1) Today my coworker and I passed another worker. All I know about this other person is that she is a manager of some sort because she has an actual office, not a cube. As we passed we all did the required "hello" and head nod acknowledgment of each other. When she passed out of range of hearing, my coworker made the comment "I don't like her very much". I asked who she was only to get this answer (and, yes, I quote) "I don't know her name. I've never worked with her actually. I just don't like her."

Example 2) We have a morning meeting every day at work in the large boardroom at the office. On either end of this board room are counters, meant to hold papers, binders and such. Inevitably, people sit on them during our short meetings. I have two female coworkers whom I find particularly annoying who will sit on the counter in the back and make comments about the clothing/appearance/etc of other people in the meeting.

At least guys aren't this catty...at least not the one's that I've met.

Blown out of proportion

2008-09-23T15:50:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, my in-laws were over at our place to watch the Vikings game with us and our friend Jeremy. As usual, the conversation turned political. We mostly were talking about Jeremy's brother asking Jeremy who he should vote for and how this is how, we fear, most people are voting. They just go by what someone else tells them to do without doing any research themselves. As the conversation went on, Doug's mom made a remark about how Doug's brother and our sister-in-law are very much in favor of Obama and they barely know anything about him.

Keep in mind the following:

1) Most of Doug's family is Republican,

2) Our sister-in-law is a political science major in college and the likelyhood of her jumping on ANY politician's bandwagon without looking into where they stand on the issues is nil, and

3) Jeremy is married to our sister-in-law's sister.

As is easily deduced, the sister-in-law got wind of Laurie's comment. Doug's brother called his mom to lay into her, which lead to Doug's mom calling us to claim she never made the comment and why would we say such an awful thing about her.

If you say something about someone behind their back, please, DO NOT be surprised when they find out from the person you told. Gossip is an ugly habit, but a strong reality. More likely than not, someone's going to tell on you.

Getting bigger - I hope

2008-09-18T19:00:00.001-07:00

So you write blogs to have people read them. Not just the people you know, but people you don't. At least that is why I started this. At this point, I think maybe 3 people are reading this...maybe just 2. How bout if you've read this post, leave a message, I'm just curious! I'd like to have some other people give me their opinions on my opinions. I want to mix it up a little. So I'm trying rssHugger to see if I can get a little more traffic in here.

This is a really great concept. As the website explains, "rssHugger aims to help visitors be able to easily find blogs that write about subjects they are interested in. These subjects include: internet marketing, making money online, charity, sports, gambling, and many more. If the visitors find a blog that they had not previously heard about, they can easily add it to their RSS readers or bookmark it."

Now, I personally use rssFeeds at work to keep up with a few blogs that I like to read (and to give me something to do when my brain may explode if I have to talk to one more person), so the idea of making it easy for someone else to check in on my own verbal spouts is pretty cool to me.

So if you're reading this and you have you're own blog, go check them out. Maybe you can get some fresh ideas on your page.

I love my hair!

2008-09-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

And, boy, has it been a long time since I've been able to say that (we're talking pre-kids days).

I realized the other day that my hair has been in a pony tail, hair clip, braid, or head band just about everyday of the last 6 months. And when it started out down, it always ended up...up. With that in mind, I decided that I was sick of looking like "a mom" and went to get my hair done.

I found a picture in a book and showed it to the stylist. He made a mess with the dye (I'm still finding it on my Q-tips in the morning), but gave me exactly what I asked for.

I love it . . . and yes, Mom, its red!!!

The Original thought

2008-09-02T15:32:00.000-07:00

This is a reproduction of a blog I posted on another site. I'm throwing this out there with the intent of expanding on my thoughts and ideas. Further posts coming soon...

Recent revelations about my religious beliefs have caused an outpouring of church invites, reading suggestions and other general comments and inquiries about my spiritual health. It seems that my timidity to come out of this closet was well founded. I knew what the reaction would be and cringed every time I thought of broaching the subject with anyone who has known me for some time. In fact, I used my sister-in-law as a sort-of guinea pig. She’s a sweet, innocent, PK who I knew would give me the reaction I could expect from anyone else in my past life. So, now I figure, since I’m already suffering the slings and arrows, I may as well just come out with all of it and not just Doug’s abbreviated version.
First off, let me assure all of you readers that this change is not an overnight decision. The following is the result of many years of soul-searching and discussion and reading. This was not a decision, or admission as it may be, I made easily or quickly.
Secondly, this is an unfinished journey. I haven’t stopped reading or searching. This is just a statement of things as they stand now.
Third, (and I must ask your cooperation on this matter or I will refuse any further discussion and let you all worry over the condition of my eternal soul) in all of my searching I have explored many other religions and their tenets. I have come to respect people of all faith, mostly for the simple fact that they hold that faith, no matter the religion. I do not condemn or slander anyone else in their religious beliefs. I ask only that you afford me the same respect. Any talk of my future in hell will be met with the great possibility that I may never speak to the alleger of such news ever again.
So, what do I believe? I believe that there is a magnificent God who created all of us and still has some presence in our lives. I do not believe he/she is as involved as some people would like to think. Now, to just put it out there, I do not believe in the Christian faith that I was raised in. I certainly don’t believe the Bible is infaliable, but won’t expound on that** and I cannot and will not worship such a childish, selfish, unforgiving master. Really, the Old Testement reads like a kid with an ant farm to me; very, "I wonder what will happen if I do this" and "Defy me, well, I’ll flood you then!". Just a tyranical child having an continual temper tantrum.
I have studied Christianity and some other faiths in my still on-going search, and while I have no actual conclusion yet, I feel I am getting closer to what is right for me. I am still praying (yes, I pray - if there is a God, they must be able to hear me) for help on my path, for someone to come into my life and help me figure this out. Until then, I ask that you all have patience, understanding, and if you pray for me, which I’m sure most of you are doing right now, please know that I know you are and you don’t need to inform me of your endeavors. I do not need to be saved right now, I just need time, love and understanding.

**Beyond this: there are scholars who have dedicated their lives to studying the origins of the Biblical texts and they have written many books that detail their learnings. The following has become one of my favorites on the subject, very straight forward and informative.
Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why by Bart D. Ehrman

Work ethic, or the lack there-of

2008-09-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

I work in payroll, so I see alot of incredible reasons for "termination". Like the employee who decided to toke up in the breakroom. Or the one who threw her scissors at another employee. Or, one of my favorites, the one that told her boss that just because she's on the schedule, doesn't mean she's going to show up. She has other and better things to do. I read these stories everyday and wonder "What is wrong with people!?" I felt guilty when I had to call into work when Doug and Sarah had the stomach flu and I was the only one on clean-up. (Plus, there was the chance that I was contageous and I did not want to spread the disease amongst my co-workers. )

Even when it comes to my co-workers I am floored at the lack of common work ethic people have. There is the one who is just RUDE to the people who call in, or is constantly on the phone with their family. Another comes in late, spends most of the day on the internet or talking to her daughter on the phone and then expects me to take care of her paperwork. And yet another who just doesn't return any phone calls, so that by the time they get me on the phone they are already threatening to report me to my supervisor when all I've said is "Hello, how can I help you?". There are days that I wish I could be like them, but I guess I'm programmed differently.

And its not just this job, I've been like this since my days of babysitting. I only called into my job at McDonalds once and that was because I was really and truely sick. Am I the odd one because I actually care about my job and how I perform? Is this just the norm and I need to get used to it? I can tell you this much: I'm going to do my best to raise my kids to be more like me and less like the rest of the people I have to put up with.

The World's Worst Mom.

2008-08-26T15:30:00.001-07:00

First off, no, I am not nominating my own mother or my mother-in-law for this award. I am nominating myself. I am, quite admittedly, possibly the world's worst mom.

No, I don't neglect my kids. They are well fed, clean and very happy kids. I love them to bits and would do anything to make them happy. I just hate being a mom. My sister's blog (seen here) often talks about how blessed she is and how wonderful being a mom is. Me? I just keep trying to figure out why I did this in the first place. My only saving grace at this point is the fact that I have a full-time job and only see my kids 4 hours or less on most days of the week.

I did do the stay-at-home thing for a few months, while the hubster was commuting, and it was fine for the most part. And then I realized that it was a very VERY good thing that I did not pursue a career as a teacher. I hate kids. I just don't have the patience or the creativity or whatever genetic bonus "good moms" were born with. Most nights, by the time the kids are both in bed, I'm ready to throw things. Big Heavy Things.* I keep hoping it will get better as they get older and they are more rational little human beings. Ah, I look forward to the days when we ALL want to and get to sleep-in on the weekends...until the In-laws call at 8:00 AM to invite us to church and brunch.

*Disclaimer - Please be assured, while I feel like hitting walls, screaming into pillows, or throwing large objects that will make lots of noise when they hit my walls, this has never EVER progressed to a desier to hurt my kids - NEVER! They really are my world, I love them to bits, I just don't want the job of "Mom" sometimes.